Was - in all fairness - pretty shit. The amount of backdated articles and bullshit filler we pulled out was beyond belief - hell even this post is a lie.
We need to sort this out people, and you can too, if you want an account and jump in with the writers here, send me an e-mail to scuzz[at]scuzzmonkey[dot]com with something I can read - make me laugh, make me cry, make me want to kill you - I'll accept (almost) anything at this point.
Capitalism - well modern capitalism when currency is not tied to any standard (gold/jewels for example) - is based purely on confidence. People believe a currency is doing well, and that things have a value, life is peachy. However, it is when they stop believing (for whatever reason) that this is no longer true, that things fuck up - like the situation we are in at the moment. Luckily for us we have "Scuzz'ian Economics" which within holds the perfect method to stop this massive fuck up all the arsehole bankers caused to just get a little bit of extra cash without any thought of the long term, or who they fuck over to get it.
Starting tomorrow everyone needs to fake confidence in the currency - pounds, dollars, euros, whatever - and pretend like nothing happened. Keep this up for 2-3 days, and everything will be back to normal.
Don't believe me? Think about how unsafe you feel now - compared to 3 weeks ago. Nothing has changed, people just found out about all these dodgy mortgages and lost faith in the system.
This is one of the only situations in which ignorance is bliss - take the blue pill.
I can't the only person out there that loves it when certain theories pan out just like they should - and in doing so, drastically improve the gene pool. In fact, I can only be happier when this happens when - at the given time - the certain people were trying to dilute the gene pool at the exact same time. If I were a religious man, I would use this is a fact that God exists, and when upon sitting down with a brew one day, saw this and thought.
The following was forwarded to my by a friend from my laboratory job over the summer. He has very kindly allowed me to post it here
Scientific truth: Is there such a thing?
Science is, as I
understand it, the collection of evidence from experiments and observations of
the world and universe around us, and then the evidence is compiled. We then
create a hypothesis based on the evidence, and test it by using it to make
predictions. If it makes successful predictions we claim it is a valid
hypothesis, if it fails to make verifiable predictions, the hypothesis is
regarded with scepticism and may even be discarded in favour of a “better” one.
You know what all you people out there are? You are all CUNTS, yes that's right, you are all without a doubt, one hundred percent, bona fide, certified CUNTS.
You know why this is? Because you insist upon FAILING to update. Even Scuzz, this sites supreme ruler whose msn names proudly states that he has "hax0r'd the uni servers already" seems to have fallen into this rut. And my brain is not designed to cope with a regular updating schedule. SOMEBODY had better pick up the slack here, because for the first time in bloody ages we've missed a day, and left it too late to fool everyone else into thinking we havn't via the miracle of backdating. Meanwhile this will be my THIRD consecutive update in a row and already what precious sanity I have managed to scrap together over the past weeks of debauchery, decadence and...and...fuck but I can't think of another decent D word. Anyway the point remains that I just don't care enough to invest the effort required to update this site, whilst at the same time I evidently do care enough about it to warrant this pitiful attempt on my part to jolt someone else into writing something.
Indeed, yes, right...now. Bugger but this is...shitfuckcrapdamncock...and then we just need to...why not put it...insert into the belly and...whilst gently marianating in...spread from the knees...sure not to cause...apocalyptic proportions...may result in...tenderly swirl...impale from beneath the...fusion bake...and enjoy.
One has often wondered at the exact cause of the lunacy that many of ones fellow road users seem to suffer from, culminating in a vicious cycle of unpainted toenails seemingly designed to wreak havoc upon the fledgling penguin community, butlers acroos the world are simultaneously performing roundhouse kicks on the severely surprised faces of their masters, is believed to have distilled a pure essence of chuck norris before the mysterious formation of a crater several miles across in the general location of his home, a delightfully pink growth on your upper ceilings which we can assure you does not taste of strawberry in any way shape or form, exactly why the presence of a sofa caused him to scream and run we may never know, endure until the moodless wilt of nothingness.
There is a metal otter on my desk and a steel owl on my roof, there is also a spider. It has not moved for some time, I fear it has expired.